各位英文好的幫忙下(作文)

hopeless84

The Most Important Decision I Make In My Life

The most important decision i make in my life is to determine the course i study in university. I think most of the students will face the same problem as me after graduated from secondary school. It is very hard and pressure for me to determine at that time because i know that the decision i make will affect my future life and carrer. If i make the wrong decision, i will waste lot of money and time, and may be achieved nothing at the end. At that time, i had two options, first is going abroad to study electronic engineering as most of my friend s did. The second option is studying accounting course in local private university because i am good and interesting in figure works and the fees will be much more cheaper than study abroad. The most important thing is my ambition is to success in business world. Studying accounting will equip me the necessary skills and knowledge.

No surprise that everyone around me advise me going abroad to study electronic engineering because i was in science stream during secondary school and they feel engineer will have bright future. Besides, since i came from science stream, i dont have any accounting accounting background and knowledge. They all doubt whether i can cope with the programmes in university if i choose to study accounting. In other words, i need to start from the beginning and put in more afford compare to others. Another problem is whether the university will accept a science stream student to study accounting.

After take into consideration of those issues, i started to collect information and asked opinion of others. After i duscussing with educational counselor and reading some articles about accounting, i had decided to study accounting. It is because i know accounting is a great basis to spring off of into the business world. It is the language of business since all business people use it to communicate. A major in accounting will allow me to learn the knowledge of accounting and financial condition for small and large profit and non-profit business. Other than that, it will also allow me to learn a lot about management, marketing and finance which will equip me with necessary skills and knowledge to success in my future career path.

Futhermore, an article about accounting also state that most of the CEOs have undergraduate or graduate degree in accounting than any other area of study. This make me feel more confidence and persisted to major in accounting as this will make me closer to my wish and ambition. One of my senior who changed from science stream to accounting also give me courage to study. I also attended some education fair and seminar to collect information and make my final decision.

Today i graduated from university and i do not regret what i decided three years before as i learned what i expected from lecturers and equip myself with the necessary skills and knowledge.


可不可以幫忙下,幫我check下grammar.
或則還有那裡需要elaborate more的
謝謝

darksider

這位仁兄建議你到 www.answers.com 用thesaurus換你的vocab,不要重復一樣的,使你的作文比較精彩

如果將過去的，你的make應該換去made.The Most Important Decision I Made In My Life,希望你搞清楚哪裏該放past simple，哪裏是 present simple.如果說過去的事情，用pastsm,如果說未來的，用presentsm.

No surprise that everyone around me advise me to study electrical engineering oversea because i am science stream's student in my secondary school, they thought that study engineering will bring me a bright future.  Since i came from science stream,i am lack of accounting experience and completely ignorant about accountancy. They doubt whether i can cope with the programmes in university if i study accountancy. In other words, i have to start from the beginning and put in more effort than the other.The most important thing is my ambition to be a successful businessman. Study accountancy will appoint me the necessary skills and knowledges.The risky thing is whether i will be qualifying to university when i apply for the courses.
I had been discussing with education counsellor and read some accounting articles,finally i resolved to apply for accounting courses.

還有很多，建議你到answers.com 或
http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/verbtenseintro.html 學好你的Grammar,然後善用thesaurus,對你日後做assignment時有很大的幫助。

說真的，如果interviewer問你這個問題，你不可以說你以前是sciencestream生，他不會考慮你,但告訴事實是對的，他們很會懷疑，對accounting有意思卻去sciencestream...還有很多東東

如果不介意的話，PM我你的email，然後我send你Tenses的formula

[ 本帖最后由 darksider 于 15-10-2006 09:59 PM 编辑 ]

hopeless84

我在answer.com找不到thesaurus的????

darksider

原帖由 hopeless84 于 10-10-2006 11:49 AM 发表
我在answer.com找不到thesaurus的????

先打個字下去，比如nerd,然後scroll down,就會看到thesaurus.

yen1988

蛮多错字，要多多加油。

pressure 是noun 应用stressful

future life 是来世应用future吧了

        错                               对
carrer                          career  

waste lot of time...             waste a lot of money and time

may be achieved                 may achieve

interesting                     interested

fees                            fee

success                         succeed

afford                          effort

compare to                      compared to

spring off ??                   blend in

confidence                      confident