人应该尽孝道吗？Should One Practice Filiality?

一叶落岁之将暮

修行人，能把父母放下，专心一致修行，这是对的。
既然不修行，也不尽孝道，这是不对的。
If cultivators can let go of their parents and immerse themselves in cultivation, they are on the right track.
But if one neither cultivates nor is filial to one’s parents, one is on the wrong path.

今天我们大家来研究这个问题：“就是人为什么要孝顺父母？应该孝顺父母，还是不应该孝顺父母？”这个问题，有两种解释。
Today, let’s investigate the question: should one be filial to one’s parents, and why? There are two sides to this question.

站在“出世间法”的立场来讲，不应该孝顺父母。我相信任何人听过这句话，一定大吃一惊，因为从来没有听过这种话。你所知道的是人人应该孝顺父母，没有听过人说不应该尽孝道这句话，所以你觉得惊奇。若按照真理来讲，是这样的说法。若是站在“世间法”的立场来讲，当然应该孝顺父母。世间法是木本水源，应该慎终追远、孝顺父母、恭敬师长，这是天经地义之事。
From the viewpoint of world-transcending Dharma, we shouldn’t be filial to our parents. I believe that anyone listening to this is shocked, because this idea is unheard of. You know that one should be filial to one’s parents; you have never heard of a view stating that one shouldn’t practice filiality. That’s why you are surprised. Yet, if we speak according to true principle, this view is correct. But from the worldly point of view, of course we should be filial to our parents. The worldly point of view says that just as a tree has its roots and a stream has its source, we also have our roots and we should pay attention to them. We should always carefully attend to the funeral rites of our parents and to the worship of our ancestors. We should be filial towards our parents, and respectful towards our teachers and elders. All this is a matter of course.

若按出世法来讲，我们努力修行，用功学习，发大菩提心，就是尽大孝，而不是小孝。此话怎么解释？因为修行有所成就，可以超度七世父母升天，所谓：“一子成道，九祖升天。”这就是大孝。
However, according to world-transcending Dharma, if we cultivate diligently, work hard at learning, and bring forth a great Bodhi mind, this is great filiality, not small filiality. How is that? When you have accomplishment in cultivation, you can rescue your parents from your past seven lives and help them to be reborn in the heavens. It is said,
When one child becomes a Buddha,
Ancestors of the past nine lives
Ascend to the heavens.
This is great filiality.

孝有四种：一为大孝，二为小孝，三为远孝，四为近孝。什么是大孝？就是报生生世世的父母恩、师长恩。什么是小孝？就是孝顺现世的父母，膝下承欢，令父母高兴。养父母的身、慰父母的心，也就是要恭敬父母、供养父母。什么是远孝？就是孝敬古圣先贤，效法他们的一言一行，作为借镜；一举一动，作为圭臬。什么是近孝？就是除了孝顺自己父母之外，还要孝顺他人的父母，所谓“老吾老，以及人之老”，要有这种的思想和行为。
This is great filiality. There are four types of filiality: great, small, distant, and close. Great filiality means repaying the kindness of one’s parents, teachers, and elders from all lives. Small filiality is filiality towards one’s parents of this present life, making them happy, providing food and shelter for them, and giving them peace of mind. It means respecting one’s parents and providing for them. Distant filiality refers to respecting and being filial to the ancient sages and worthy ones, taking them as models and emulating their words and conduct . Close filiality is, in addition to being filial to one’s own parents, also being filial to other people’s parents. It is to “take care of your own elders and extend the same care to others.” This is how we should think and behave.

真正出世法，超过孝道，所以我方才说：“不应该执着孝。”若是执着孝顺父母，那就沾上情情爱爱的思想，就有妄念，终日念父思母，焉能修道？所以按真理来讲，不应该尽孝道。
我讲这个道理，有人会懂，有人会不懂，所以大家要深一层研究这个问题。
True world-transcending Dharma surpasses filiality. That’s why I say, “Don’t get attached to filiality.” If you’re attached to filiality, you are still caught up in love and emotion. You’re always thinking of your parents. How can you cultivate this way? Therefore, according to true principle one should not be filial to one’s parents. Some of you may understand the principle I’m talking about, and others may not. So we need to investigate further.

现在的人心，一天比一天坏，品行一天比一天恶劣，所谓“人心不古”。为什么？因为世间人，本应该孝顺父母，可是他不孝顺父母。认为孝顺父母是落伍的思想，又认为父母养育儿女，是他应尽的责任而已。那么，他不尽孝道，是不是修行呢？也不是的。他真能修行，不需要养父母，也算是孝顺父母，这是尽大孝，将来超度父母生天。他既不孝顺父母，也不修行，专造种种的恶业，将来一定堕落三恶道，毫无疑问。
At present, people’s minds are getting worse day by day, and their behavior is getting daily more wicked. It is said, “People’s minds are no longer like the the minds of the ancients.” People ought to be filial to their parents but they aren’t. They think filiality is an outdated idea, and they think raising children is the parents’ obligation. So then, if a person doesn’t practice filiality, does that mean they are cultivating? Of course not. If a person could truly cultivate, even if he didn’t provide for his parents, he would still be considered filial. This is great filial piety, helping one’s parents be reborn in the heavens. If a person neither practices filiality nor cultivates, but only creates all kinds of evil karma, then he will definitely fall into the three evil paths. There is no question about it.

你们看！现在的青年男女，学下流的行为，不是杀人放火，就是奸婬劫盗，无恶不为。觉得应该这样放荡不羁，以为自由。他认为人不应该孝顺父母，就应该学坏，这种思想，大错特错。虽然不能一概而论，但是大致差不多是犯了这种通病。
You can see present-day young men and women learning despicable behavior. If it’s not killing and arson, then it’s robbery and promiscuity. They do every evil thing there is to do, and they call their lack of restraint, “freedom.” They think that not being filial to one’s parents means one should learn to be bad. This kind of thinking is absolutely wrong. Even though we cannot generalize, many people have this fault.

修行人，虽然不孝顺父母，可是能拯救父母离苦海，生于天界。但有些人，既不孝顺父母，又不修行，终日做些不道德的事，有害于家庭，扰乱社会、国家，不得安宁。这是赔本的生意，越赔越没有底，前途不堪设想。这样胡作非为，乃是不可宽恕的罪人。
A cultivator, although he can’t be filial to his parents, can save his parents from the sea of suffering and help them to ascend to the heavens. However, some people neither practice filiality nor do they cultivate. They only commit immoral acts, which ruin families and disrupt society, causing there to be no peace in the nation. Such behavior is a losing business: the more you lose, the less capital you have left, and your future is doomed. People who act this stupidly are inexcusable offenders.

在前边所说的修行人，能把父母放下，专心一致修行，这是对的。既然不修行，也不尽孝道，这是不对的。这一点要弄清楚，所谓：
万恶婬为首，百善孝为先。
On the other hand, if one is like the cultivator mentioned above and can let go of one’s parents and immerse oneself in cultivation, then one is on the right track. But if one neither cultivates nor is filial to one’s parents, one is on the wrong path. You should be clear about this. It is said,
Lust is the worst of all evils.
Filiality is the foremost of all virtues.

一九八三年七月二十九日
观音七开示于万佛圣城
A talk given on July 29, 1983,
at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas

何首乌

请问以上的一番论点，究竟是谁发表的呢？

修行人，如果连孝顺父母这么基本的道德修养都做不到，那他还算得上是一个真正的修行人吗？

说真的，如果要我将来弃我年老体弱的老母亲于不顾，一心一意去修行，坦白说，我会觉得过意不去，真的于心不忍，我的好妈妈含辛茹苦养育我多年，对我恩重如山，我怎么可以如此忘恩负义，在她年老体弱需要我照顾的时候，完全弃她于不顾，只顾自己一心一意专心修行，像这样的一种行为，我觉得是大逆不道，忘恩负义，不是一个真正有比较高尚的道德修养的修行人所应该要做的事情。

何首乌

况且，你说只要我们一心一意修行，就能够超度我们七世的父母升天，这话怎么讲呢？

我相信，能够达到这样一种境界和目标，我们的修行也必须要非常成功，可能至少要能够修行成佛，才能够顺利把我们七世的父母全都超度升天，对吧？

要达到这样的一个目标，恐怕也没有这么容易吧？

何首乌

一个真正有修行的正人君子，如果连“感恩图报”、“孝顺父母”这么基本的伦理道德都做不到，我相信，这样的人也不是一个真正有修行的佛教徒。

什么是“修行”？

所谓的“修行”，其实不只是指表面上的“出家”而已，而是包含“努力修正我们自己的起心动念、言行举止、思想态度”这些方面的一些仪态和行为，能够把这些方面的行为和仪态给修好，这才是真正有意义的修行。

何首乌

我刚刚看完了《地藏经》，这本经书里面有说，那些不孝顺父母的人，死后将会堕入无间地狱，而且很可能永远都没有办法离开。

所以，如果我们依照佛经的话，我们生而为人，必须要懂得孝顺父母，这是天经地义的事情，也是我们为人子女的一种基本的责任和本分。

@开卷有益 大大，你说得对，我们学佛最好必须要多看佛经，因为唯有佛经写的佛法才是最正宗的，如果我们平时都没有阅读佛经，只是依靠听闻这些弘法人员的弘法或讲座，这样很有可能会给我们造成一些误导，对我们会产生不良的影响。

所以，总归一句，学佛，还是必须要多看佛经，这样才能培养我们的正知正见，不会那么容易被那些弘法人员所误导。

开卷有益

    很明显这又是一篇把中国古代的孝经搬运过来佛经的例子了。
    中国古代有两者孝，一个是真孝，一个是愚孝，如果说不孝有三，无后为大，那么是不是每个人都应该先生个儿子然后才有资格去修行？
    随着时代的变化，我个人觉得这个孝以及不是古时候那个孝了，现在的年轻人也不是以前的年轻人，工业革命后，这个世界的结构和以前古代的农耕社会也不同了，不可以用古代的准则来一概而论，学佛也需要于是并进，不然就学不到佛经里面的道理了。
    现在的年轻人学杀人放火？奸淫？去那些还没有开发的内地农村看看吧，也许大陆十万大山里面还有，如果真的找不到，去看看电影，盲山。去非洲部落，去印尼小山村，去看看那些民智未开的年轻人。如果觉得麻烦，去看电影，破。地狱！也可以看看西方人的社会结构，看看他们家庭关系是如何的。
     学佛呢，来来去去都是修行个人的心。
     今天你境界不够，觉得不愚孝就没有办法继续修行下去，那么继续去愚孝，没有不对，只要你坚持愚孝可以不动摇你修佛之心就没有问题了。
     明天你境界可以了，开了智慧，知道了什么是愚孝，什么是真孝，于是你摆脱了愚孝，只要这个改变没有动摇你修佛之心，那么这也是对的选择。
    佛经每天说，这个世界每一刻都在变化，这个变化其实也包括自身。

开卷有益

何首乌 发表于 6-1-2025 05:56 AM
我刚刚看完了《地藏经》，这本经书里面有说，那些不孝顺父母的人，死后将会堕入无间地狱，而且很可能永远都 ...

    我觉得现代的孝，是如何处理家庭成员的关系才是真孝，不是好像古代社会认为最老的才是地位最高的，一言堂这类。

    孝可以是由下而上，又可以又上而下的，也可以是交叉的，这叫做沟通，理解。不一定是爸爸对孩子，妈妈对女儿，也可以是兄弟姐妹们的和睦。
    一个人出家到底算不算不孝？这是这个家庭里面全部成员的沟通结果，我们外人如何看待是无关紧要的，当然一个人无缘无故就跑去出家了，什么都没有交代，这叫做跑路，叫做失踪人口。