了解工程師

憨

這是網路上朋友Forward的,原文是英文.如果翻譯的不好,請見諒.如有更好的提議,無任歡迎.
想說工程係的朋友應該比較能"收到",所以貼在這裡.
版主,如果不適合,請移到適當的地方.
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機械工程師和土木工程師有什麼不同?
機械工程師製造武器; 土木工程師製造目標.

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
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正常人相信, 如果東西沒問題, 就不要修理.
工程師相信, 如果東西沒問題, 那它擁有的功能還不夠多.

"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
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給樂觀的人, 杯子是半滿的.
給悲觀的人, 杯子是半空的.
給工程師, 杯子比所需要的大了一倍.

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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兩個工程係的學生在校園裡走着.
甲: “你的自行車很不錯, 那裡買的?”
乙: “昨天, 我邊走邊想着自己的問題時, 一個美麗的女子推著自行車走過來, 把自行車推到在地上, 並把全身的衣服脫了, 對我說：“你要什麼就拿吧！” ”
甲贊同地點頭說: “選得好！那些衣服應該都不合你身的！”

Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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牧師,醫生和工程師正在打高爾夫球. 在他們之前的一群人很慢,他們等了很久.

工程師：他們怎麼了？我們已經等了１５分鐘了！
醫生：我也不知道,可是我從來沒看過這麼沒分寸的人.
牧師：啊! 高爾夫球場的管理員來了, 我們可以問一問他.
牧師：嗨！佐治, 在我們之前的那群人怎麼了？我說, 他們真的太慢了吧！
管理員：哦！那是一群盲了的消防員. 去年他們在我們球場救火時, 把眼睛熏瞎了．為了表示感激, 他們可以任何時候到我們這兒來免費打高爾夫球.

他們幾人沉默了一會兒.

牧師：真可悲. 我想, 我今晚會為他們禱告.
醫生：好主意. 我會連絡我的眼科專科的朋友, 看看能幫到他們什麼.
工程師：難道他們就不能夠等到晚上才來打球嗎？


A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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三個工程係的學生正在討論, 設計人體的, 最有可能是什麼人.
甲：你看看這些人體關節的設計, 肯定是機械工程師.
乙：不, 應該是電子工程師, 你看看這神經系統里成千上萬的電子控制.
丙：其實, 應該是土木工程師. 除了他們，還有什麼人會把排出廢料的管道安插在娛樂場所里呢？

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

[ 本帖最后由 憨 于 22-4-2006 05:02 AM 编辑 ]

jascy

好好笑，应该贴在笑话版吧。。

Nahte

全部都不错。。。

原帖由 憨 于 22-4-2006 04:57 AM 发表
機械工程師和土木工程師有什麼不同?
機械工程師製造武器; 土木工程師製造目標.

这个好。 而且。。。是真的。
百德未，和机械工程师一起制造武器的还有 化学工程师。

給樂觀的人, 杯子是半滿的.
給悲觀的人, 杯子是半空的.
給工程師, 杯子比所需要的大了一倍.

这个嘛，杯子不是大了一倍。
只不过，那杯子的设计的 Factor of Safety 是 2.0。
比较不会外泻 (Spill) 嘛。。。

憨

原帖由 jascy 于 22-4-2006 01:57 PM 发表
好好笑，应该贴在笑话版吧。。

是想過,不過貼在這裡比較能引起"共鳴"吧!

如果不對,請版主移動.謝!

jascy

原帖由 憨 于 23-4-2006 05:11 发表


是想過,不過貼在這裡比較能引起"共鳴"吧!

如果不對,請版主移動.謝!

说的也是，满真实下，也有点讽刺。。

我被骗了...不过也不能酱说.
其实我是想更了解工程师...